i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
