But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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