Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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