don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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