Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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