I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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