That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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