I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
