talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
