The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
