if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
