i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
