Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
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