ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
