a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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