She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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