my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
It's like God shit irony all over that family
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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