Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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