Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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