Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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