I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
