i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
