sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
