had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
