his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
