i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
