Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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