he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
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It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
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