Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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