I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
So vagazzling was a success
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
