would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
