Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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