i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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