i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
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You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
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So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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