i don't like sucking hair
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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