She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
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I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
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I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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