she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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