The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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