I just threw up on my dentist
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
