were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize