Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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