I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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