this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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