But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
