No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
sex in a hospital.. check
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
