first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize