Dual....:-)
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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