I hate all girls vehemently.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Randomize
