scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
