i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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