Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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