Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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