Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
