Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
