I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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