she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
