brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Randomize
