I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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