i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
