he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
