update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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