Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
