i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
