I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
