Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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