you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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